fidget
"Do you like ripping the limbs off Humans? And pinning their still-writhing torsos to a display board?

"Me too!

"So let's make the most of the 48 hours I've got to live and go hunt us some Humans!"

orpheus
Fill in the blanks:

"A furry behind is sexy; getting behind some fur is sexier!"

not_a_freakin_rabbit
“If I was to pick my favorite thing, it would be leaping over those crappy little hare wannabes—the rabbits.

"Man!  Are those guys annoying or what?!

"Just because they get to have chocolate confectionary made in their image, they’re all ‘Oh, we’re MUCH better than you hares’ and ‘Oh, aren’t we just the cutest?’.

"Honestly, those guys make me SICK to the stomach!”

lolita
“Why you should get to know me?

"Because only I would catch you small, furry rodents and drop their disembowelled remains at your feet.”

pervin' mervin
“I, heh … I, ummm, I … I like to look at, at things. Yes! That’s it; things, I like to look at things.

"Big, rouuuund things; yeah, yeah! Big, round, pink things! That wobble. And heave. Big round pink things that wobble and heave.

"Ummm … have you got any?”

hot_tamale!
“Beautiful rock star seeks cross-dressing albino to share my fluffy cushion.

"If you’re into Armageddon theories and death metal bands, call me!

"Flatulent Spaniels need not apply.”

cream_puff
“What am I looking for?

"A woman with many assets, preferably held in a Swiss bank account. Must be of Arabic descent, capable of handling semi-automatic weapons and enjoy cooking with a variety of interesting chemicals.”

agamemnon
“I’m a classic kind of guy who enjoys the finer things in life: honey, salmon, backpackers …

"If that sounds like you and you don’t mind Sweet Lovin' that involves lots of fur, claws, over-sized genitalia and drool, give me a call on 1-800-Hug-a-Teddy.

"Satisfaction Guaranteed.”

sparky
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ”

fluffy
“The five things I can’t live without: a dry hole, insects, genital piercings, layered sponge cake and Gospel music.

"Oh, and I’m partial to mushroom compost, too.”

squeaks
“Vegan rodent seeks down-to-earth playmate for ambulance chasing, nut cracking and dragon hunting.

"Must have own horse, enjoy flossing and be tolerant of farm animals. Filed teeth a plus. Hunters need not apply.”

nympho
“What do I bring to a relationship?

"Aside from an ovipositor that can dump over 400 eggs at a time, I’ll store your sperm in my mighty abdomen until I’m damn well ready to use it. Then I’ll rip your head off and eat you at my leisure.”

lovegod_2000
“It’s quality, not quantity and I’m living proof. My burrow’s warm and dry, my fur’s shiny and I can do wonders with hair gel.

"And if you’re a woman on the go, I fit comfortably into most handbags (but only Louis Vuitton and Prada, please!).”

cazza
“I’m a down-to-earth shiela who likes cars, football and rolling in the mud. And I’m strong too, so if you go out drinking with your mates and wasted, I’ll come and lug you home, no questions asked.

"I expect a man to be a man and I like a bloke who’s not afraid to drink, belch or fondle his horn in public.”

fredrico23
"I like going for walks in the forest, diving down rabbit holes and tearing the flesh off living creatures.

"I'm looking for a warm, parasite-free female to share my love for Wagner and fine wine."